Interview 7 · Have You Ever… (2)

Rafa: Mom, you complain everywhere: at the store, at the bank, to the cable guy… you're a champion!

Lupe: Have you ever claimed to be a U.S. citizen?

Rafa: Claimed is like reclamar, complaining! Say yes, proudly!

Lupe: Yes! Many times!

Rafa: … You just told them you said you were a citizen?

Grandpa: Rewind.

Grandpa: Claim does not mean complain. To claim is to say something is true about you. Claimed to be a U.S. citizen: you said you were a citizen, in words or in writing.

Grandpa: Like checking the U.S. citizen box on a job application. And saying I am a resident is not saying I am a citizen.

Grandpa: Voting: registered to vote, or voted. Two different things: signing up, even if you never voted, is also a Yes.

Grandpa: Taxes: a nonresident is a person who does not live here. If you file as a resident every year, it's No. And Selective Service is for men: for Lupe, it doesn't apply.

Grandpa: Hard words. Genocide: killing a group of people because of who they are. Totalitarian: a government that controls everything. Terrorist: a person who uses violence to scare people, for political reasons.

Grandpa: And at the end they turn to Yes. Do you support the Constitution? Yes. If the law requires it, are you willing to bear arms? Bear arms means carry weapons. Nothing to do with bears.

Grandpa: Okay, like at the interview. Have you ever been part of a terrorist group?

Rafa: Mom is! Her group chat with the neighborhood ladies is terrifying!

Grandpa: Rafa! That's gossip, not terrorism. … Lupe?

Lupe: No. I was never part of a terrorist group.

Grandpa: Good. Another one: If the law requires it, are you willing to bear arms?

Lupe: Yes, I am willing.

Rafa: Mom in the army? The sergeants would be scared of her!

Grandpa: Only if the law requires it, kiddo. Nobody's sending her today.

Lupe: Your turn, mijo: Do you know what genocide means?

Rafa: Mmm… Killing a group of people because of who they are?

Grandpa: That's it, kiddo. Hard word, simple answer.

Lupe: My sixteenth stamp in the passport!

Grandpa: Sixteen out of twenty, Lupe. And save the complaining… for the store.

Grandpa: Now, your ear. These are Lupe's answers: you always give your own, the true ones. Listen, answer… then repeat after me.

Officer: Have you ever said you were an American citizen?

Grandpa: No. I never claimed to be a U.S. citizen. NEV-er KLAYMD.

Officer: Have you ever voted in this country?

Grandpa: No. I have never voted in a U.S. election. VOH-tid… ih-LEK-shun.

Officer: Have you ever filed taxes as a nonresident?

Grandpa: No. I never filed taxes as a nonresident. FILED TAX-es… non-REZ-ih-dent.

Officer: Have you ever participated in genocide?

Grandpa: No. Never. JEN-uh-syde.

Officer: Do you support the Constitution?

Grandpa: Yes, I support the Constitution. suh-PORT thuh kon-stih-TOO-shun.

Officer: Are you willing to bear arms?

Grandpa: Yes, I am willing to bear arms if the law requires it. WIL-ing to BAIR ARMZ.

Lupe: Claimed doesn't mean complain! Complaining is what I do at the store.

Grandpa: And if one of your answers is Yes: tell the truth, explain, and talk first with an attorney or an accredited representative.

Rafa: Okay, okay… I'll tell the cable guy Mom calmed down.